Surrender to the Shadows
after Dare I love my shadows by Shayna
Panting
Clomp
Clomp
Heavy footsteps hit the forest floor
Rudely announcing the presence of an intruder
Secrecy is not my goal
I want the owner of this treacherous place to know I am here
And I need out
Tall giants surround me with thick bark and intimidating branches
Heavy breathing
Mind racing
Heartbeat thumping
Just when I see an opening
I fall
As my body makes contact with the surprisingly soft mossy floor
I hear the words of Rumi
Ever so faintly in the breeze
“The wound is the place where the light enters you”
Surrender
Long limbs wrap around my legs and impede me from moving forward
Tree-like fingertips slither their way slowly through my body
While their roots thrash towards the earth’s core
Mobility is no longer an option
I must encounter this creature who has become one with my soul
Darkness begins to move within
Filling vacancies I want to forget existed
I know this hurt
I know this pain
Face it
I close my eyes and allow this new being to takeover
But it was not new
It revealed the abandoned infant
The sad girl
The voiceless child who wanted to scream and say
Let me go
The darkest remnants of my soul
Now tap dance before me
Delicately
Like ballerinas on studio floors
Memories I hide from daylight’s view
Here they are
Making their presence known
Asking for recognition
Demanding to be heard
Dying to be healed
All my life
I ran from these shadows
Unaware of their intentions
Not understanding their craving for my body
The need to be connected
To become one with their owner
Stay awhile
I am here
Present
With my light
And my darkness
Intertwined
Tight
Like cornrows that hid rice for the long journey to the promised land
I know what it feels like to risk my life for freedom
Captive in my own skin
Tirelessly running from faces and places that still haunt my dreams
But now, my shadows deserve a safe place
Within
Where they can learn to sleep safely and learn about love
The journey home has come to an end
Acceptance
Beyond the horizons
Just through the murky trees
I see her
The mixture of light and darkness gives her silhouette an angelic appearance
As if she descended directly from one of His chariots
No hesitation in her steps
No limp in her walk
No bend in her spine
Head high
She walks toward me
Eyes revealing a young girl floating in a sea of possibilities
Running wildly through green meadows
Flirting with butterflies that flutter beautiful wings
Unity
Hand in hand
We walk out of the forest
All of the pieces are intact deep down
Readying to sail authentically through life
Whole
And
Complete