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Ancestral Healing Through Self-Work with Ajeé Buggam

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Season 4 Episode 5

In this episode of Wellspringwords: The Podcast, Nkem has an impassioned conversation with Ajeé Buggam on the nuances of healing through the negative tropes of being a “sensitive” person. As Nigerian and Caribbean women, respectively, they dive into intergenerational dynamics and ancestral healing through self-work. They even talk about the idea of being a “fixer” and how to regain our personal power by creating space for inner growth. Scroll below for the topic timestamps.

For Ajeé, being a sensitive being has meant that she often suppressed her emotions and kept them hidden. In her past, she felt like there was no room for her sensitivity in certain circles, and she even projected that suppression onto others, which only made her feel more isolated. However, through her journey of self-discovery, Ajeé learned that it was okay to be vulnerable and to allow herself to be expressive. She founded an Instagram account, providing a safe space to express her sensitivity, and also learned to filter out messages that told her sensitivity wasn't welcome. She began this account in May 2020, during the COVID-19 pandemic when she found herself in a dark place and realized that she needed to focus on her internal healing. Ajeé developed a unique way of sharing her thoughts and feelings by talking to herself in the third person with a post-it note, taking a photo of the note without showing her face, and posting it on her Instagram page. The impact her posts carried for others was significant, and she realized that her page was one of the tools for her own healing journey. Ajeé's page promotes the idea that it's okay to take a break and focus on healing.

“Your vulnerability is your superpower.”

Nkem vocalizes that being in survival mode can bring us right into our feelings, as it requires us to be present and in tune with our emotions. The ability to be in our vulnerability and hold the depth of our feelings is essential to navigating through difficult situations. As human beings, we are all connected, so we have innate feelings that allow us to empathize and relate to others. It is important to have emotional awareness and intelligence and recognize the layers of feelings that we experience. We are allowed to feel our emotions, but we should not let them consume us. By understanding our emotions and being aware of how they impact us, we can learn to manage them in a healthy and constructive way.

Nkem also discusses how integrating the embodied experience into healing is an important aspect of the healing process. It involves coming back to oneself and connecting with one's light, even though it may seem challenging. When we start to explore our emotions, it can be very intense when we feel an emotional wave coming on. Everyone's embodied experience feels different, but the essence of the feeling is what matters the most. The goal is to take that essence of feeling and release it, allowing it to come through the body. As the body moves through the healing process, we may experience intense, wild emotions that can feel overwhelming. However, with time and patience, these emotions will eventually calm down, leaving us feeling more centered and at peace. By integrating embodied experience into the healing process, we can create a deeper level of healing that is more holistic,  transformative, and empowering.

“It's not your job to carry anybody.”

Both Ajeé and Nkem have experienced situations where they’ve carried the emotional burdens of those around them, leading them to feel empty and exhausted. Emotional healing is subjective, and everyone's journey is different. However, it is essential to move from being a fixer to a supporter, as it can be helpful for both the giver and the receiver. Even if we have the capacity to hold other people's emotional burdens, we need to ask ourselves if it is the most helpful thing to do. If we hold other people's stuff, we may not have the capacity to hold our own. It is easy to try to escape our problems by helping others, but true healing comes from facing our own emotions and finding ways to support ourselves first.

This episode expands on Ajeé's book-writing process as an exploration of culture, inspired by her own experiences and upbringing. As a creator, Ajeé did not want to be put in a box and has always had a passion for writing. She would journal frequently and write short stories, having her journal as a muse by her side. In school, she wrote for the school newspaper, which was a significant outlet for her as a sensitive kid. Growing up in a Jamaican family, there was little room for sensitivity, but Ajeé explored music and art to express herself. She felt that writing was a safe space where she could explore without judgment. Her book-writing process allowed her to sink into the topic of Black cultures and opened her eyes to its richness and complexity.

“Were all children, were all teenagers, all the time.”

Nkem and Ajeé make a pivot into exploring intergenerational dynamics, which, for both of them, has opened up a new journey of growth within and beyond their family structures. Ajeé recognized that everyone has different journeys, and she used to feel resentment towards those who had more opportunities or pathways than she did. However, she also knew that family was important, and she leaned into the process of growth, even if it was difficult at times. Ajeé talks about the feeling of begging for what she needed emotionally from a space (or from people) that could not provide for her, which often led to a feeling of scarcity. Through her growth journey, she learned how to give herself what she requires or receive it through other means. Ajeé now approaches intergenerational dynamics with a greater sense of empathy and understanding, as she realized that everyone is on their own journey, and it's important to meet people where they are.

There’s so much here to munch on, so enjoy! Let us know if this conversation brought anything to mind or heart for you in a podcast review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, on Instagram, or via email at bewell@wellspringwords.love. Be well!

Topic timestamps

0:10 - Introduction

1:45 - What does it mean for Ajeé to be a sensitive being?

3:53 - How and why Ajeé started her IG page on self-healing

7:07 - Being in survival mode brings us right into our feelings

8:26 - Integrating the embodied experience into healing

10:23 - Healing as an acquired skill that requires commitment

12:03 - “It’s not your job to carry anybody.”

22:34 - Making space for ourselves + learning to receive

25:41 - Let’s talk about Ajeé’s book writing process - an exploration of culture

39:14 - A pivot into exploring intergenerational dynamics

49:01 - Leaning into the journey of growth within and beyond family

59:21 - Stay connected and dive into more!

References and resources mentioned in this episode

Find Ajeé here:

Find Nkem here:

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