Wellspringwords

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Conscious Energy Contraction + Learning to Decelerate

Wellspringwords
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Season 3 Episode 10

In this episode of Wellspringwords: The Podcast, Nkem shares her insights about what it feels like, looks like, and means to slow down and become present through bringing our energy back to us. Many of us struggle with people-pleasing and, in effect, continue to self-abandon when we really want to feel centered and empowered. Through her life experimentation and study, Nkem gives us her perspective on energy contraction and alignment. Enjoy this deep-yet-quirky episode! Scroll below for the topic timestamps.

Nkem starts this episode with high spirits as she comes off the end of a very meaningful but intense couple of days. Overwhelming sensitivity and feeling everything is common for Nkem before she starts her period, so this intense energy isn’t exactly random. Along with her period fueling this intensity, there was a full moon in Virgo as well as the spring equinox during the time of recording — plenty of energy shifts to go around. As of this moment, Nkem is being patient and present with her feelings as they pass so she can soon embody a more inspired version of herself, though her sensitive state is no less true to who she is. 

“We can ask ourselves: Which relationships am I actually getting something from? In asking this question, you have to be honest with the role you play in your relationships and what the life source of your relationships is.”

This episode is about energy contractions, not only seasonally, but also if you’re a person that is generally very open, without boundaries, and energy everywhere. Nkem used to identify herself this way but she has grown to know that it is a description that no longer serves her. Nkem is speaking about her experience with energy contractions specifically through her last menstrual cycle, so it’s valuable to give attention to how the phrase ‘menstrual cycle’ or ‘bleeding’ sits within you. If it makes you cringe or feel shameful, it’s worth observing — whether you menstruate or not, it is a huge part of our lives. In Nkem’s most recent energy contraction, she has stepped outside of her beautiful and bright ego, personality, and self, to observe. Specifically, she’s been observing who she is around others, the energy she gives away, and the energy she receives.

Through the process of observing, Nkem has noticed how she gives her attention, love, care, words, and energy in a way that ultimately creates energy leaks. These energy leaks create a sense of tiredness and unfulfillment within her, understandably so, as she’s giving without requiring the same generosity in return. To act on this, instead of asking for more, she has started observing where she is the one fueling the relationship and then stepping back to see how the relationship changes — this often means the relationships fade away. Even when you know stepping away from a relationship is good for you, mourning is still required for any loss. Nkem now has to move through the grief of what she thought her relationships were, and let go of the control she once wanted over them. Entering a space of “lucidity” after the pre-menstrual phase of her cycle has led her to realize the reality of those relationships: a delusion she was convincing herself of. Now, she must move forward with honesty and truth.

The broad goal with energy contractions, as with any work we do on ourselves, is to move closer to home on our path to wholeness. It’s about reevaluating how we’re generating our energy. We can ask ourselves: Which relationships am I actually getting something from? In asking this question, you have to be honest with the role you play in your relationships and what the life source of your relationships is. Tuning into your physical feelings and listening to your body in those spaces can be incredibly informative. While it can be an intimidating confrontation, you can ultimately make a meaningful transformation in creating healthy and thriving relationships. 

The wonderful thing about cleaning up energy leaks is that it opens up all this new space to play and explore that caters to your optimal self. While it can be very disappointing to notice the relationships that end when you stop initiating communication, it also reveals all this new space you now have. You gain the freedom to fill this space with endless possibilities of connections — ones with more worth and value for yourself and your interests. This is by no means Nkem’s way of preaching from a pedestal, but fully unfiltered honesty about her life and what she’s going through at the moment as a human with universal human thoughts and feelings.

“To truly and wholeheartedly tend to your inner garden, you must first allow the dark and shadow parts of yourself to come up and be present with them.”

All the valuable space that returns to Nkem when she’s brought her energy back to herself can easily get sucked away again if she’s not mindful. She realized when she turned to media like Netflix or Youtube, it just felt like wasted energy. She was pouring her energy out just to receive whatever the program's messaging was in return, whether supportive or draining. While this kind of media provides entertainment, it's not fulfilling in the same way heart-aligned media or interactions would be. In this attention economy, we’ve been conditioned to constantly fill space and time with other things, even if they’re ultimately useless to us, but it should be an opportunity to fill our souls with what builds us up with inspiration and empowerment. We all have so much energy that we can use to accomplish whatever we dare. In Nkem’s life cycles, she is always learning how to optimally wield this energy and her inner power after getting off path. Getting back on track is an exercise in trusting yourself for guidance, but your ego often probes questions fueled by doubt, like “Are you really sure about that?” Nkem works through those doubts by staying grounded — not in the material way of being a realist and seeing things as they are but in a different way that she has come to fully own — being grounded in her own heart’s call.

This process of contracting our energy is something we should all know how to do and put into practice when our life is calling for it. For example, if you're working or dating and notice that you’re always trying to people-please and make yourself available for everyone, part of energy contraction is figuring out the reasons behind that. It requires a desire to go inward and decelerate: to slow down, not rush, and allow things to take the time they need to take. To truly and wholeheartedly tend to your inner garden, you must first allow the dark and shadow parts of yourself to come up and be present with them. We never know for sure how long it’s going to take to go through the parts of us that have been oppressed and shamed, so we have to take our time to find a cadence that we feel comfortable working with in processing all of that. Through such personal work, we come to understand who we are and how our energy is impacting our quality of life – what we think, how we feel, what we produce, and what we attract.

As Nkem has chosen to be present in the pain and intensity of this past cycle and season, she has found that she now gets to reap the benefits of moving forward with newfound clarity and lightness. She plans to enjoy this period and the phases that come after until she’s back in the shadows in three weeks due to the nature of the menstrual cycle. Fortunately, she’s come out the other end of this one feeling good because she was present with herself instead of abandoning herself. Nkem felt, expressed, and went through it instead of trying to mask and avoid, as we tend to do in true human style! She hopes this episode has served as a reminder to try things differently for yourself! You never know what opportunities will open up because of it. Let us know if this conversation brought anything to mind or heart for you in a podcast review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser, on Instagram, or via email at bewell@wellspringwords.love, and feel free to hit us up if you want to collaborate and get involved with our community. Be well!

Topic timestamps

0:10 - Introduction

2:32 - What this episode is about

3:35 - A quick note about shame around menses

5:15 - What conscious energy contraction can feel like

7:11 -  Closing up energy leaks

8:18 - Radical honesty + the need to control in relationships

10:33 - Self-inquiry about sustainable + fulfilling sources of energy

13:07 - After cleaning up energy leaks, look at all this new space!

15:48 - Reconditioning ourselves to be present with all our life force energy

19:26 - Coming back onto our unique paths of energetic alignment

20:19 - A little rant about being grounded

21:48 - Who of us really needs to contract our energy?

22:22 - What are the underlying reasons we feel the need to people-please?

23:27 - Becoming comfortable with our darkness and internal processes

26:10 - Being present in the pain brings clarity and lightness

27:22 - Stay connected and dive into more

References and resources mentioned in this episode

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