(The Performance of Black Excellence)

Fashioned by exceptionalism 

Embellished with productivity 

The boisterous applause for my ability to achieve

I learnt how to abandon myself 

How to quiet the voice in my belly, curious if this is how existence should be measured

There are shattered pieces inside that no one can detect

In my healing, I become an observer 

Of my scars

Of my pain

Yearning to pass judgment kept me at a standstill

Acceptance was the only way through

I cradled myself 

Swaying in the liminal space of a person dulled by survival

And a vessel enjoying the life of an audacious soul

Leaning into this being has been laborious 

The constant unpacking and unlearning

Yet

It is my only direction to truth

The only way I am connected 

To my roots

To my vision 

and to the steady voice in my belly eager for more.