Lost and Found
photo by Fillipe Gomes
Be professional, tone yourself down, you’re angry, smile, say what you think they want you to say, learn their interests, think like them, oh but remember - always be yourself!
As I continue my days, my mind spins as I recall all the words echoing themselves to me on repeat. No matter where I go I seem to hear them. They won’t stop talking to me for some reason. My happiest moments, my loneliest days, the words just keep stumbling over each other constantly, always in the back of my head. Be like them but be myself? How do I accomplish that - I ask myself repeatedly. How, just how, I ask somberly.
In a world consistently telling us who to be and how to be, it can be hard to find your own footing. I struggled with this immensely. Always afraid of saying the wrong thing, not getting the job, being labeled incorrectly according to stereotypes, these factors together had me on my P’s and Q’s at all times. Unfortunately, they also made me lose myself at times along the way. The young girl that was once fearless was now timid. The young girl who would not be afraid to try anything was now reluctant. How did this all happen? And so fast? Between the echoes of others placing boundaries on who I should be and me listening, I got sidetracked, losing myself at times. I was a reflection of not only outside noise but my inner critique. The once young girl is now a grown woman.
I’ve had to live in a world that was not my own for a good portion of my life until I decided to take it back. To regain control. How do you accomplish that in a world that constantly tells you how to be? From the workplace to our own personal lives, there are generalizations placed upon us. Trying to be yourself but one of them at the same time. I eventually realized it’s impossible. The only way to be is me. The best part about it is, there is only one me.
Finding myself in this great big world filled with obstacles is something I had to work overtime to accomplish. It’s a journey. One worth taking, because once you know yourself life will be much easier. I no longer felt bound by the expectations of others. I no longer felt bound by the obligations of others. I felt free. I was free. I was at peace with myself.
“You can't be hesitant about who you are.” - Viola Davis
For the young girls and boys, for the women and men, this is for you. Never lose sight of who you are in an attempt to please others or make the status quo. In fact, break it. Break the status quo. Do your thing. March to the beat of your own drums because in the end your happiness and peace are on the line. Your freedom is on the line. Freedom of self.
I am fearless, I am bold, I am brave, I am courageous, I am free, I am inspired, I am ambitious, I am a dreamer, I am ME.
