Love, I love you.

photo by Efes Kitap

I love you.

I didn’t grow up saying it. I knew it was there, and that it was abundant. But it just wasn’t said. 

I love you. 

Even on TV, the phrase was displayed as more of a declaration, for special occasions, than as something you say daily.

I love you.

The ultimate bargaining chip, sometimes, that can push someone away or pull them closer.

I love you. 

Reserved for love songs and romance films. For books and storytelling.

I love you.

Used only in romantic situations and relationships. 

I love you. 

Not for friends. Not for family, because, they JUST KNOW...  Right?

Well, I love the dictionary (lol). And I am always curious to see the etymology of words, the definitions, the contexts and the orders of usage. I find that knowing these things allows me to be more intentional with my words, thoughts, actions and expressions. 

The preceding statements seemed to limit Love; who we can Love; how we should Love; and to whom we (are allowed to) verbally express that Love. These restrictions were contradicting my experiences, because I didn’t feel like my experiences lacked Love. 

BUT ‘I love you’ — it just wasn’t said. 

What’s the big deal about that anyway? Saying ‘I love you’…

To someone you are not in a romantic relationship with — or even to someone with whom you are in a fling — why do we shy away from saying ‘I love you’ to others? Why do we shy away from exclaiming ‘I love you’ to ourselves? Why do we rush it? Why do we question it? What is it to just love somebody? Anyway, I digress… 

So I looked up Love in the dictionary,

Love: (Merriam Webster dictionary, 2004)

1. Strong affection

and I started to think. 

Have I ever felt strong affection for anyone? Have I ever felt strong affection for someone that I do not have or want a romantic relationship with? Have I ever felt Love? Have I ever expressed Love? And you know what? 

YES! Of course! Absolutely! For sure! 

Then why don’t I tell them? Why don’t I say ‘I love you’ more? How do they know? How do I know they know? How do I know I am loved? How do I know if I didn't hear it? 

I KNOW. 

But ‘I love you’ — it just wasn’t said.

Love is simple... Yet why is it so complicated?

Sometimes Love is so strong, it’s dangerous. 

Sometimes Love is so strong, it spoils.

Sometimes Love is so strong, it expires. 

Love is — (lots of) laughter… loudly. Love is libations. Love is long-standing. Love is lyrics & lines that make you blush. Love is laying out on the beach with a red stripe, fry fish, bammie and fresh festival. 

Love is — open... ordinary. Love is an overcast day with a cool breeze. Love is organizing video calls with aunts, uncles and cousins across the seas.

Love is — vivacious... a vixen. Love is voluptuous. Love is vicks vapor rub when you feel that soothy coolness.

Love is — energy... evolution. Love is everlasting. Love is energizing. Love is engaging. Love is eating (Jamaican) KFC & Cremo ice cream for birthday celebrations.

Sometimes you love so hard, it hurts.

Sometimes you love so hard, it leaves.

Sometimes you love so hard, it grows.

Sometimes you love so hard, it evolves. 

I love you.

Such a powerful phrase. It really has the ability to transform. 

I love you.

Now I say it UNapologetically. And I mean it. Over and over. To myself. To family. To friends. 

I love you.

Because when you can’t say it to the ones you wish you had, you’ll wish you had…