Re-Evolution of Love
photo by Jackson Jorvan
I love the way love displays itself so magnificently before my eyes:
A peacock performing its mating ritual,
couples kissing under swaying trees on park benches,
hands sliding past messy hair to caress smooth skin.
I’m stunned and amazed that desire can look so radiant
and evolution so intimately
intoxicating.
thirst =
I find love in murky water and filter it with my hope in humanity.
Seeking clarity, I look at a ripple's reflection of past love
glistening and slightly distorted
purifying a memory that slips through my fumbling fingers
flowing into the expansive mouth of open sea.
I remember the permissive emotional wetness of love:
legs spread
delicate dances
chemical combustions
cosmic eruptions
deep inside
lusty eyes.
The sweet sweet aftermath and the warm mess of night.
Many times, my heart cracked itself open and mended for love
reaching far beyond timezones to tend to love.
fear =
But the fall feels familiar and risky now...
parting clouds, a sudden change in forecast.
Every time love makes its way to me
peripherally teasing me
with its exhilarating, lustful demeanor,
it shakes me to my core.
The palpability of fear in me and in potential lovers
lingers on our missed calls and
deliberate miscommunications.
Gazing out the window at a dark skyline filled with entrancing city lights,
with my wide-open, trust-seeking eyes,
I sip on my red wine
mulling in the disenchantment of delusion
and the calculated expectation that seeps in
from a familiar, painful past love.
freedom =
Love should feel nothing like a trap.
It should feel like the ultimate freedom,
the embodiment of our purpose,
the prophetic poetry of our ancestors,
the exchange of our erotic expression,
the inherent symbiosis of our species.
My wings are too strong and glorious,
too comfortable in-flight above treetops and expansive desert dunes
to be restricted and trapped by love.
Still, my heart wants to admire and be admired
up close and from a distance
and deep down,
I know how endless my capacity is for love,
how excited my wings are to wrap around it
and be comforted by it.
practice =
I want to move with love, meaning I want to
infectiously and contagiously
embody a vessel of love,
infinitely replenishing and
emanating.
It’s become part of my routine...
reading about love,
understanding love,
unlearning the way I was taught (or not) to love,
practicing self-love.
And I realize I’m in love with the idea of love
because for one
I don't want to live in a world that forgoes love.
I want to live in a world that fights for love.
And as much as I try to protect my heart from love,
I feel more ready than ever
to love you.
