When the day breaks into nighttime

the birds swirl home,

I’m left alone,

I watch as they all leave,

one by one, 

fleeing as they came,

the evening breeze caresses my cheek,

I board the bus,

watch as the city lights shine in the distance.

Everything and everyone is far away.

In the dark,

no one sees me,

nor do I see anybody,

pure bliss,

no hiding, no masks,

there are no games to be played.

I curl up,

tuck my hands around my waist,

and let the wheels ride away.

My thoughts fade,

all I feel is my presence,

the breathing in and out of my body,

this moment that can’t be stained.

I am here,

I am now,

I am home,

a space constantly moulding,

the only constant my breath and space,

that I hold and take in the world around me,

the skies hold my gaze.

Free I am to be seen and to speak,

the journey leading me,

cradling me as it sways. 

I am on safe grounds,

the motion, 

guiding me, paving its way.

***

The winter comes in through the back door,

silently, as we lay on the couches in the living room.

The air cold, winds dreary and old,

mum gets up to brew us all a cup of warm chamomile tea.

It creeps up the stairs, 

tiptoeing: tip tip,

down the hallways: gush gush,

into the windows: bang bang bang.

Chilly as we feel and run up to put on a warm blanket,

it’s that time of the year,

the fuzzy socks on my feet and ears.

Cramped up in the living room, 

we huddle and turn on Home Alone,

even though everyone is here. 

I sit by the window sill, 

watching the film whilst keeping an eye on,

the little flowers of snow, 

their petals as they fall to the floor.

In awe, I stare at the beauty and mystery,

that winter brought,

perhaps I was missing something,

perhaps this movie and the steaming mugs of tea,

thaw my distant lonely heart,

and untie the clasp it twindles itself into.

Years of loneliness wash away

as I finally begin to feel myself return to myself again.