The older I become, the deeper I delve into my forever yearning, wondering and expanding mind. The false pressures from social media, family, friends and complete strangers in becoming successful is stronger now than ever. Whilst journeying to my final destination, where I was making and executing plans, I became a young mum. It has been such a strange time — a time of excitement, happiness, odd manifestation, pain, and confusion, amongst other things.

I became a mother at the age of 21, which I believe is an age of awakening, realisation, excitement, growth and new possibilities; it was daunting, challenging and nerve wracking. I have had low days which I know are partly due to me not being able to accomplish tasks big or small, but I have also had days of gratitude and happiness. 

“To facilitate my blossoming and to center myself, I focus on self love.”

Motherhood is a never ending and unknown journey and, though I am a mother, I am also an individual who believes that motherhood should not strip away your identity — it also should not stop your internal and external growth, success, and fun. Having this mentality has resulted in my mind over-spilling and even capsizing with thoughts of my goals and countless possibilities. To make matters slightly more complicated, my daughter isn’t the best sleeper due to her excessive itching of her severe eczema. This has made my journey of growth and success harder as I have very little time to myself to execute my plans. 

Along the road of my motherhood journey, I have slowly learned that putting too much pressure on myself to become self employed, as well as comparing myself to other individuals who are self employed or are making significant and inspiring accomplishments, can result in the loss of myself and the deterioration of my goals. Though I am still focusing on my goals to become self employed so I can be readily available for my daughter as well as have the ability to primarily focus on my passion and calling, I have realised that centering myself is crucial for my mental health, my daughter’s well-being and my future. 

“We are just like flowers — flowers must have the right environment, nutrients and water to grow and blossom beautifully.”

To facilitate my blossoming and to center myself, I focus on self love. I try to exercise five times a week and practice yoga daily. I also do shower meditations. Here, I meditate, state my gratitude and express affirmations of love, strength, success, opportunities and more. I find shower meditation to be relaxing, and whilst doing so, I envision the water washing away my negative tensions and thoughts. 

I am also trying to regularly remind myself to slow down, organise and journal my thoughts and ideas, create realistic timelines and to use my inspiration of others to provide me with motivation and new ideas. I know that doing this will filter from my mind the thoughts which do not water me, resulting in the removal of mould and decay from my mind, giving space for a variety of fruition and blossoming.

Growth, healing, self love, understanding and exploration of self takes time; becoming a mother means that I need to ensure that I am more careful and patient with my journey of self.  We are just like flowers — flowers must have the right environment, nutrients and water to grow and blossom beautifully. They cannot and do not rush the budding and growth process of blossoming; over-watering will drown them and under-watering will cause them to droop and die. 

So just like flowers, we need to tend to our thoughts, environments, nutrients and self with care.  We have to water ourselves slowly and consistently so we can blossom beautifully.