The world, particularly now, can be a sad place and weaken our spirits, but here are a list of truths, tips, and actions as well as inspirations to help uplift our community right now. To our queens, we can do this. Tomorrow always brings better days. 

Your Mental Health Matters! 

Let’s repeat that. Your. Mental. Health. Maters. In the world today, it’s hard to stay happy or find some inkling of joy, especially when the murders of our Black brothers and sisters fill our tv screens, are the headlines of every other news article, and are plastered on social media. This is why its important to take time out for your mental health. 

Mental health includes the emotional, psychological and social well-being of the self, meaning it controls how we think, feel and act. It also helps determine how we handle stress, relating to others and making choices. As Black women it feels like, sometimes, we don’t allow ourselves the time to get our mental together. We are always seen as being “strong” or feeling like we have to keep it together, because — if we don’t who’s going to have us?

But we, I, have to realize the first steps in strength, or even functioning in general, is having your brain, your thoughts, and mental health together. At the top of the list, mental health and taking care of self is one of the most important things you can do. As you care for yourself, it extends to others as well. As a great philosopher once said, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love someone else.” – RuPaul. 

Turn Your Pain into Action 

Breonna Taylor. Ahmaud Arbery. George Floyd. Trayvon Martin. Alton Sterling.

Say their names.

Their lives matter. 

Like many, I witnessed the murder of George Floyd, watching it over and over till the video was ingrained in my brain. I watched as he tried to take his last breaths, screaming for his mother. This was not okay — this was a murder.

Social injustice is never okay. Racial discrimination is never okay. And no one should ever fear for their lives or those of the ones they love just because of the color of their skin. As more of America is finally getting a peek of police brutality against Black people, the time is now to let your voice be heard. 

Silence is no longer an option, and we as Black people need to stand up and turn our pain into action. Here are some actionable ways we can help:

• Go to Change.org and sign the Breonna Taylor Petition.

• Follow brands and social media platforms that are advocating for change. Platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram are all great and popular ways to learn, educate and share social justice issues. 

• Go to Resist.bot to contact your local representatives and express how you feel. 

• Donate. George Floyd’s GoFundMe has exceeded its goal but you can always donate toward Bail Money for protesters on the line. You can also contribute to the Black Lives Matter Movement.

It is NOT Your Job to Educate the Masses about Race or the Black Experience 

We’ve all heard it, ignorance is bliss. The fact that some of our White counterparts have shared this earth with us and have remained ignorant about police brutality or the Black experience is astronomically unbelievable. So, if you ask me, ignorance really is bliss. If they don’t see it — if it’s not in their faces — then it doesn’t matter right? Wrong. To be willfully ignorant is just as bad as really not knowing. The excuse of simply “I didn’t know”, to me would be better rephrased as “I don’t care”, or “it doesn’t apply to me”. Either way, as Black women it is not up to us to educate non-people of color on the Black experience. 

I personally observed more White and non-people of color approaching Black people for answers. And I say, its not our job to hold their hands and explain our Black stories. Never have so many people wanted to know before because of this amazing ignorance, so I think that they should go the extra mile and do the work if they are so curious now. We don’t have to be that token Black friend that is available with all the Black answers when someone has questions. I’m not here for it.

Realize Your Limits and Make Boundaries Known 

Knowing your boundaries is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Knowing how you want to be treated, respected and what you will tolerate allows others to know the person you are. For me, boundaries guide me in knowing how much I am willing to take. When I was younger, I was down for any and everything. As I grew up I had to learn that some things are just not okay, and I truly don’t have to deal with it. When I know that something does not feel good or that it’s taking my joy, it’s time to make a change. I only have one life to live and I refuse to waste it feeling down or uncomfortable because of others’ actions. I think as women — and especially as Black — women, we need to know our power and understand that it’s okay to say, “this isn’t happening” or “no, I don’t want to do that” without feeling the least bit of shame. We have every right to say “no”, and I think its time to set those boundaries.

Allow Yourself to Take a Step Back from Social Media 

It might be hard, extremely hard, because lord knows TikTok has me up for hours laughing till I can’t breathe, but take a break from social media. It’s okay to not know that latest Instagram trend or to see what your childhood friend posted on Facebook. Sometimes taking a break gives you time to focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Sometimes taking a break simply allows you to not be trapped in the social media world. I personally have to do it all the time, because I feel like having all these media sources take up my days. I’m always checking Twitter for gossip and Instagram for likes on a photo that it takes up so much time — I’m really just glued to the phone. Now and then I put the phone down and take just take a break.

So, there you have it; five important tips and truths that I need all my Black women to keep in mind. Our lives, health, pain, mental health, and our boundaries all matter. We matter.